ive never done anything sexual with another boy/man (so far ;-p)the opportunity never came up and i think i would probably have chickened out if it had. the nearest gay interaction i think i had was when once of my gay friends said i had the most beauiful ankles he had ever seen... i suppose its a compliment.
ive sort of known thats its guys ive given the second glance to...always - from school, university, work, holidays, in fact anywhere where there are guys to be honest. I was saying to someone the other day, if 2 equally hot man and woman entered the room, its the man i would focus on first...always has been... so why have a i spent my life going out with women!! i am probably what you call a serial monogamist - going from one long term relationship to another from the age of 14-i think part of this was being able to take myself off the market so to speak so any hint of liking men wouldnt surface....in hindsight i feel so stupid for doing this...especially when i went away to university, i could have started my life afresh.
The trouble is i think people i know would be very surprised at me coming out...including the gay ones, which brings me onto a related topic. Apart from fellow gay bloggers, the next logical step should be to speak to real gay people i know (not that you all arent real people :-). i have had gay friends throughout my life and i pretty much guess they would all be very shocked at me coming out. I currently have 2 gay friends - the first is very very camp and ticks all the boxes of a sterotypical gay man, which is what in my head people think of when they hear the word gay - and i dont want that. My second gay friend is my age and came out late and never really accepted his homosexuality. He has alot of issues he still is working out about being gay...an he likes to gossip, so i cant risk coming out to either of them at the moment which is a shame. This second friend set my gaydar off as soon as i met him and he is very straight acting when you meet him at first...yes i do think i have a pretty good gaydar but am just pretty sh*t at using it!!
At school I didnt know anyone in my year that was gay. there was only one guy at school at all i thought was 'different' i dont think he ever came out as being gay at school, but ive now found him on f/b and he is gay, and happily living with his partner. Since leaving school i have found that someone in my class was gay -i never had a clue at school - he is now a full on drag queen and a pretty good one looking at his photos!!
Away from thinking and reminiscing about life, its been a pretty boring day today. tomorrow is going to be a super busy day at work and i doubt i will stop at all to try and get the job done. Ive been having a text conversation tonight with a mate about the football and my wife has been going on about how gay it is doing that and calling me and him gay boys. :-( what do i do.....