Saturday, 24 April 2010

back to the 1990s

i was sorting out my study yesterday (do not get a glorified impression of my study - its a 6ft by 6ft box filled with a desk, chair, and lots of books), and came across my notebook i had over the years with various writings of mine in - poems, prose, songs etc. i have added to it periodically when the mood takes me, and they may not be great or profound or skilled writing, but they are mine and my thoughts.

I wrote this in 1990

"Dont you wish that sometimes
you could just write something
out, which you needed to get out of
yourself, but you know that you
cant, because someone may find
out what you have written and
it could cause endless complications
if you wrote what wasn't the
truth, but only what you
perceived it to be, or thought it
to be at a certain time, and
might not be anymore, but
you had to let it out because
if you didnt, it would just
well up inside and never get
You know what I mean!"

I think we all know what i was talking about here 20 years ago!!!

20 years ago i suppose that was the equivalent of a blog post - but one which no one would ever see, but something i needed to get out of me...even if it was in the most cryptic way possible

i may post some more of my writings at some point - some of them are also related to my sexuality.

One story i wrote was based around a short break i spent at Uni with a girl in Chichester, and I wrote it as a diary in the style of Andy Warhols Diary (which is worth a read) - anyhoo, the point being, in this diary, i wrote that one of her male friends was cute - looking back i am surprised i wrote that then...even though he really was ;-)

that was more of a ramble than a blog post, but it interested me


  1. See - you come by blogging naturally.

    Seems like there was something inside you that needed to get out. It's been locked up inside for a long time now.

    I'm surprised that you wrote about about a guy being cute, too. You risked being found out at a time when you were probably defending the image of your sexual orientation quite strongly (I assume - that's what preoccupied me at that time in my life). Maybe part of you wanted to be found out.

    Looking forward to more of your writing.


  2. Hi there, JSL

    Thanks for posting this: it illuminates some of your past, which helps us to better understand your present. I hope it also helps you to let your words out into the wider world.

    I look forward to reading more of your writing.

    Take care


  3. I have recently come across some old writings of mine that show me some things never change. I just found your blog through an insomnic espisode last night. I can really relate to the two laptop thing : ). I'd love to share more if u care to e-mail me or read my blog.