more random stuff from me

firstly, welcome to a new blogger http://mymaleinterests.blogspot.com/ his story has many parallels with mine and i am sure he would like to have other guys support as well.

so far i have reistsed the temptation to put anything in my blog apart from my thought and links to other bloggers, but think i will try and add more content for you...things which appeal to me...and by things i mean guys and music !!!!! :)

My life meanders on...i think my wifes has finally coming to realise that our marriage is over...despite the utopian ideal of staying together, i dont think it is going to be possible for much longer...but we shall see.

As i have previously posted i think....i have never done anything with a guy before . During the closeted period of my marriage, I have never done anything with another guy ...not even flirted with another guy...but since my confession, that is changing..i am finding myself more liberated in my attitudes and behaviour...for a start i am being quite flirty with guys..whether i know their sexuality or not...(i actually think i havent got a bad gaydar based on past experiences) but its fun to do anyway.

As for other things with guys...i still havent broken my duck so to speak...its a dilemma for me...knowing i'm gay and in my belief, that the relationship with my wife is no longer as her husband, i have convinced myself that if the opportunity arose to do something with another guy, i would take it. I still have feelings of guilt for wanting to do this...after all I still am a married man. I have already made a couple of attempts to meet guys ..but nothing has yet come of it for various reasons that i may post publicly about one day, when i think you all deserve a laugh..lol. Several guys i have been chatting with have all suggested i'll go through a tart phase once i start, but i really dont think its me...much as i would love to hook up with a random guy, ive never been one for one nighters...all relationships i have had have been developed from friendships first...i dont know if the same applies now, but i would feel far more comfortable hooking up with a guy i already know for some fun regularly if its something we are both happy to do.

Well, thats a longer post than i was going to do...once i just start thinking about what i am writing it sort of flows into a river of gibberish!!!

I was gonna put some pics here of guys i find attractive, but dont know if its something you would like to see or not...i dont want to turn this into an adult rated blog so they have to be clean pics, but just so you can see what i like :)

back again...

Hi

just to let you know, after taking stock of things, i am gonna try and continue blogging. I do enjoy doing it and receiving feedback and the support i have had has been awesome throughout the whole of it. It has really helped me over the past few months.

Timmy waiting for God is on the mend on blogland which is great to hear...if you dont follow him, heres the link http://timmy-abbros.blogspot.com/.

Also Eddie , after his tragic loss appears to be coping with things...if you ever want to chat eddie, youve got my details. His link is http://justthelifeofeddie.blogspot.com/

Thats all for now sorry, but will update you soon

loss of 2 bloggers, and now me

hey guys


a bit sad today due to the loss of 2 bloggers...the first has stopped writing due the very sad death of his brother...i totally understand why he has done it, and i hope everyone who knows who he is will be thinking of his family at this very sad time in their life.

the second blogger loss is my fault...via coincidences and friends i realised, who a blogger i followed was, and added them as a friend on facebook. Due to his own circumstances, this has scared him and caused him to stop blogging for fear of being found out. He knows how sorry i am for this happening and its something i never wanted to happen...this blogger is a great guy and been an inspiration to me and others...

Due to this, at the moment i'm going to stop blogging...I know the risks of mixing my online life and real world lives together and want to be in control of that happening...but do not want it to happen to others, who do not want that. His blog made and could still make a big difference to other guys in the situation and he is in, and i dont want that to happen to anyone else. The world needs more people like him.

Thank you to my followers and those who have commented...you have all made a difference to me in my life. I will still follow blogs but at the moment it doesnt feel right blogging myself or contacting other bloggers as well.

Some of you may work out whos blog i am talking about and will be there for him should he need any support

take care.

no news...doesnt inspire people to read this post really does it..lol

thought i would give you a bit on insight into my general life since things are a bit quiet at the moment.

i cant believe its been 10 days snce my last post, but to be honest, i dont really think much has happened in my life...the weather in the UK has been beautiful...which for us means sunshine with a bit of light cloud and temperatures between 20-30 degrees celcius or 70-80 farenheit...apart from work, ive been sitting out in the sun ...especially sunday watching the football (which we wont talk about in england) and Formula 1 motor racing on my laptop....needless to say ignored all the warnings about getting sunburnt and subsequently have looked a bit like a lobster/tomato/radish for the past few days...

This week at work i really havent done alot...for starters its been too hot to do anything, and secondly i have been doing alot of chatting online with people through msn and skype which has been good...growing up before the days of facebook, twitter and myspace, once you left school, unless you could be really bothered, you lost touch with people..and i was particularly bad at keeping in touch with people, so online messaging is brilliant for me to do that with current friends and i tend to use it alot..and with the advent of facebook, have reconnected with people i used to know which has been great.

If any of you ever want to chat, my skype is toolate4regrets...cant think where i thought up that skype name..lol...if you maybe say where you found me it would be useful for me to know rather than wondering who the random person is...lol

i really should add tags to my blog..ive never really thought about it before so, i will from now:-)

ive been catching up with other blogs i follow...i read one called Timmy....Wating for Godhttp://timmy-abbros.blogspot.com/..he seems a really nice teen guy, but is having a few health concerns recently which is a real shame, and must be so worrying for him and his family...for what its worth, my thoughts are with him ... Another blog i follow religiously is http://gayandy.blogspot.com/ Andy/David is one of the most thoughtful, intelligent sensitive guys i think ive ever seen...his constant concern for his friends and family is wonderful...and hes only 16 years old!!!! I followed his previous blog and was both worried and felt sad when it disappeared, but now he is all sorted, it is back bigger and better than ever....i cant wait for andy to find that special guy cos he really deserves it....his attitude and beliefs put many people , including myself to shame....

i cant think of much else to say at the moment..i am sitting at work, drinking coffee pondering what to do next....

another post

thanks for the comments guys

am chuffed to get a comment from Eddie at Always hardhttp://hornynhard.blogspot.com/. His blog is briliant to be honest - his writing is excellent and he mixes day to day life with some very horny material - HeHe.... Everyone should take a look at his blog...and if you want to read his early material, its available as a download...its well worth it..from his first post to now!!! Eddie, you really should go through with the tattoo...i had mine on my wrist which is supposed to be the most pain...and to be honest, it didnt really hurt at all...just a bit of discomfort -i love having mine...

My wife is being really great..we do have down moments, but we are still together and just working through everything...how our lives are going to continue...i have noted Jims blog and will be taking a proper look soon.

I'm making some new friends a well...gay and bisexual ones...its great starting to make friends from scratch who are fully aware of me and my situation...its great to finally be myself with them...ive found them generally online and chatting through skype and msn

One guy has been really great and supportive online..ive chatted online with him loads and i think i may have found a friend for life..i am hoping we can meet up properly cos i owe him alot really for his support over the last couple of weeks...its always difficult when you are online with someone, whether they can be trusted, but this guy is something special...and the first person ive been truly honest with in my life


So, at the moment things are good, and hopefully will get better

thank you guys for the support

update and stuff

hey guys

i just did a post and stupid blogger lost it so will try and remember what i wrote...lol

my wife and i are still living together under the same roof and getting on. She has been incredibly supportive of me and what i have done despite how hard it is for her. Having been together for so long, we do share a special bond which neither of us wants to break, but need to find a way of living with it...at the moment we are taking each day as it comes and see how our lives evolve after what i have done

in other news, i have got a tattoo..ive been wanting one for ages and finally took the plunge...i dont know whether it is part of me wanting to peel layers away or mid life crisis...but i love it:-)

i am feeling alot freer and more open in myself since things happened...i find myself flirting with guys in real life and chatting to them online...something ive never done before having been so tightly closeted, but enjoy the flirting immensely :-)

i'm gonna keep blogging to let you know whats happening in my life and keep you updated about stuff, if youre interested.

take care

update

hey guys..

just a bit of an update. as i said, Ive told my wife that i like blokes.

Although she suspected or thought it highly likely i was gay, it was a still a shock to her...those comments a few weeks ago about beng a gay boy and others i mentioned...they were testing the water by her!! bit slow on the uptake me

we're still living together at the moment whilst we try and work out what this means for both of us. Obviously me fancing men is going to have consequences, but i still have emotional feelings towards my wife...things are very confused but i do feel better now its out in the open