Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Men and meets

i always seem to start my posts off with an apology for not i wont this time.... lol

There have been developments in my world.....

As I've mentioned before, I have been making new buddies online over the past few months, and a very good one, I met up with last week. The plan was to have coffee lunch, do some shopping, and have good proper chat whilst I didnt quite happen that way and we sort of didnt end up leaving his house at all. I wont give you all the gory details..(well, not at this juncture anyway), we didnt do everything, but had a very good time. The thing is it was the most natural thing i have ever done, being with him , and he said alot of nice things about me...all in all it went for the problem.........I'm not sure what has happened since then, its all got very confusing to be honest. We chatted over the next few days and i was supposed to be seeing him again...but he doesnt want to now...and i dont know why...he says he is confused and needs to go away and think over things and doesnt know what to think now....

Anyone got any ideas whats going on???? If i was crap, Ive told him to to tell me , but apparently thats not it.... :( so I'm just in limbo at the moment.

I met up with another guy yesterday for drink and lunch..hes looking for some no strings attahed fun, but although he's keen , i just dont know anymore, not sure i really want to go through with it at the moment...and to be honest i'm not attracted to him trouble is i do things to keep others happy so will probably end up going through with it. you never know, i may enjoy it.

Who would have thought friendship and fun were so hard to find and deal with............


  1. JSL - MANY men feel tremendously guilty after they've fooled around with another guy. The guilt is all self-induced and it has nothing to do with the guy they fooled around with. The guilt means they are not comfortable with their same sex attraction. They need a time out to think, collect their thoughts and decide on their next steps. As difficult as it might be for you, the best thing to do is give the guy some space. Tell him you like him, you had fun, you'd do it again - but only if or when he's up for it. If you take a look at Christian's blog "Confessions of a Straight Guy" you will see that he is on a self-imposed time out from men for exactly the reasons I've said. Be patient and understanding. Chances are good that the guy will want to meet again at some point in the future.

  2. Hi there, JSL

    Some good news, some bad news, I guess.

    I'm really glad to hear that what you did with your friend felt so natural to you - for me, that confirms your sexuality beyond any doubt, and hence justifies the journey you have been on for the last few months.

    I'm sorry to hear that your friend has reacted so badly to what happened. I don't think I can do any more than echo TwoLives' advice: remain friendly, and give this chap time to sort his feelings out. You could perhaps offer to meet up to talk, somewhere in public so that you're not tempted to go any further.

    As for this second guy: you're not under any obligation to keep him happy. If you don't want to do anything with him, whether it's because you're not attracted to him, or for any other reason, then you don't have to.

    Overall, my suspicion is that men are not very much less complicated than women. The motivations and drives may be different, but we are all human, and subject to uncertainty and confusion in the same way. You seem to have been doing pretty well on the friendship front over the last few months; I think the "fun" would be readily available if you went looking for it. It's when the two things overlap that life gets more complicated.