For those who have stuck with me through my ramblings know i am gay and my situation re:marriage, and this actually applies to everyone i meet or chat to online...i make sure any guy who i chat to etc knows very early on what my situation is...its two fold really..firstly i dont want to give anyone false hope as to what may or may not happen with us and secondly i want to be honest with peole i meet online..i have spent so much of my real life lying that i want to make sure i start my new life on the right foot!! Also, some guys just find the whole thing difficult to understand so once i tell them i never hear from them again, which is a shame, so telling guys early means i dont get to form an attachment to them should they decide its just too weird for them.
Anyway, back to the title of this post...I have told someone from my real life that i'm gay! Now before you all start jumping up and down shouting Wahey!! it wasnt as big a step as it sounds..he was a very safe bet indeed. He is someone i went to school with , who now lives in another country, i only chat now with him through facebook, and hes gay...so it made sense to tell him, but it made me happy doing it.
He was surprised but happy about it and we had about a 3 hours chat afterwards about all manner of things regarding me and being gay. I found out so much about him i didnt know..it was strange because our paths criss crossed throughout our whole childhood from about when i was 4 until 16, but we were never good friends..the strange thing was i always felt an affinity towards him but didnt know why...i guess it was embyonic gaydar at work (especially since i had the same feeling towards another guy at school, who my friend told me was gay as well..how did he know this???..well they had 3 flings with each other in their teens ...lol)
At school i actually had a bit of a crush on this friend i told...i thought he was cute..i told him this yesterday and it made him so happy cos he felt he was nothing at school in terms of people liking him that way.
so thats the first friend I've told about me...lets hope the rest are all that positive!!!! we can hope
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WOW! well done! and so what if they are a safe bet? The fact is, you took that step all on your own and told someone you know in the real world. This is a big step for anyone, let alone you. It is a shame to hear about people not responding once they find out, but i am presuming that you told this guy everything; in which case perhaps his advice will be the most valuble. He may know you better than any of us will, and can be there for a more personal support base.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and congratulations
Jack xx
Hi there, JSL
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
You said that this is not such a big step, but I think it is: if I'm not mistaken, this is the first "real life" person you've come out to, other than your wife. So it sounds like quite a significant change in your life to me. As such, it seems quite reasonable that you should choose a "safe bet". Best of luck with continuing the process!
If you haven't seen it already, you might like to have a look at the "Coming Out" post on my blog, not least because your blog had a role in me telling that story. Your coming out process is different from mine, because your circumstances are different, but I hope it's as positive and affirming for you as it was for me.
Take care
Mark