5 on the Fifth December

Here's my contribution for Stephen's 5 of the Fifth this month. Be sure to check out Stephen's blog for links to other 5 on the Fifth participants.

5 of the Fifth

Thre is the awkwardness of getting peoples faces so all pics taken yesterday, but some poetic license used.

The pics are of :

1. Rolo, one of the cats..he mas mastered opening a locked cat flap
2. Ole, another of my cats..hes is virtually human in his affection
3. A friend of mine..he doesnt care what people think about him, he is happy being himself
4. I love watches..I own about 40, and these are all my non digital ones...favourites are the gold one my Great Grandfather owned, and my Mickey Mouse one :-)
5. The clock face is the obvious one..a nice example of and English 19th Carved Wooden clock, but in the small frames are my mother and grandmother..they deserve a mention

Other Bloggers and My Morning

Another random post cos ive got the inclination to blog at the moment...dont knock it though!!.

Am going to mention 3 blogs i take an interest in cos i believe its important to have people out there who you can relate to, or maybe blogs to read who have been through similar situations.

Last night i read, what is possibly the most wonderful blog post in all my time reading blogs.

jessie-constantlyconfused

I've followed this blog from its previous incarnation through to this one. He was one of the first blogs i read, one of the reasons I started blogging myself and one of the reasons i am still blogging and now tweeting today. His post and blog should be used as inspiration for all young gay guys out there struggling with growing up being gay.... and i am so happy that last night went so well... Jessie I am so proud of you.

Another blog i think you should read is.

Torchyboy

As an adult struggling to come to terms with being gay, it was reassuring to find another adult living the gay life, but not being out..i know my situation is totally different to his, but i thoroughly enjoy keeping up with whats going on with him....as well as the fact he is a thoroughly decent and charming guy :)

Most people who read my blog already will follow:

gayandy

but if you dont, then start reading his blog..he is one of the nicest guys you could wish to meet, whose love and understanding for his fellow man is incredible...and he writes excellently

..to those other bloggers i read religiously, i will be doing more updates soon , mentioning other interesting blogs, but dont want to just redo my blog list as a post.

Other news for me today, Um.... i went to a Clinic for the first time this morning and went through all tests for STIs. I cant reiterate enough how important it is to get yourself checked out regularly..not only for yourself, but anyone else you have a sexual relationship with. Its simple and straightforward and not half as embarrassing as you may think..i know I am probably saying things you all already know, but if you havent been to one and think you should start going, just message me and i'll explain what happens so youre prepared...fortunately for me, my best friend told me what to expect beforehand so i wasnt surprised by anything.

Random Bits of stuff

This really is just an anything post..not sure where it will go or not...

Slightly sad this morning that I may have upset someone on twitter... i think someone thought i was taking the mickey out of them and talking badly about them, when i wasnt .... anyone who knows me, knows i dont do that..but online peeps dont really know me. Just i take things personally when i upset people...ive spent my life trying to make other people happy...

Am waiting for a delivery from a department store today..some christmas presents..plus some undies for me (Yay!!) theyve texted me to say the parcel will arrive between 12:03 and 13:03 today...I'm thinking...Wow, thats pretty accurate..we shall see though!!

Anyone in the UK knows the main topic of discussion over the past few days has been the snow (and you thought I was going to say Justin Bieber on XFactor didnt you?? *sighs and shakes head*) Finally i got some snow worthy of discussion..only maybe an inch but its better than nothing i suppose - enough snow to make a snow cat maybe!! Was chatting to a friend about the weather and we both agreed we either like it to be freezing cold or hot (around 30*C) . and could do without most of the temperatures in the middle really....now all i need to do is find a place with those extremes!!

Am supposed to be working, but am pottering around online and thinking of christmas presents to buy for people..I use Christmas as opposed to Xmas, as i have been told off twice this year for shortening the word..and neither are particularly religious people either..maybe i will...but i know it saves characters on texts and twitter ..lol

Anyway, thats my non entity of a blog post for today...just a normal day for me :)

Twitter. MSN, Friends and Family

Eeek , its been a long time again between posts...ive been meaning to sit down and write something, but something else gets in the way...social networking usually!!

I seem to be on twitter rather alot..i only joined twitter originally to chat to a really cute guy i used to see on cam4, but he doesnt use it that much..so ignored twitter until Jessie made a comeback on here..and cos i didnt want to lose contact with him again, started following him on twitter..and it sort of snowballed from there with finding other guys blogs i had been following and totally new friends as well, which has been awesome to be honest.

Apart from twitter, i have been spending lots of time on msn with my best friend Elliot and 'T' (more of 'T' later).

I went down to see Elliot a couple of weeks ago and it was really great seeing him and having a nice day out in London together..we had so much fun and are trying to find the time to meet up again before Christmas. He was exactly how i was expecting..funny, charming and great to be around...incidentally its the first time i've been to London and enjoyed being there!!

As i also mentioned I spend alot of time on msn with 'T', i met him online a couple of months ago, and we started chatting together..i am not going to say much because i dont want to embarrass him cos he reads my blog..but we clicked and found we had so much in common with each other. Talking to him seemed so easy..and i love being with him, even virtually...i dont know where it is going yet, but i am happy :)..Thank you 'T' xxx

The original reason for this post was I thought i may give you a bit of background to me growing up for no other reason that it may interest you. I had thought about it, then I was chatting on twitter to my friend Torchy discussing childhood and growing up and he suggested i maybe tell you all about mine, and also something my friend Nic said on twitter made my decide to do it..he tweeted that a song came on that reminded him of his father...i found this really lovely that he had that emotional connection between his father and that song, and realised i didnt have any connection like that with my family at all.

I'll start by saying i had a good childhood...i got plenty of toys and games etc..i was spoiled rotten some might say, as i was an only child and I didnt suffer abuse at the hands of anyone.

I didnt have a male father figure throughout my childhood, or someone like that who i could look up to..infact the only person who i remember who i thought of in that way was one of my Deputy Headmasters at school who took a special interest in me throughout my school days. (In a good way by the way!!!)

I met alot of male figures through my childhood...my mother , who i didnt live with seemed to have a very wide circle of male friends....., who changed on a near weekly basis..some of the time I was described as her son...other times she let people assume I was her younger brother..dependent on the situation she was in....

as i said, i wasnt brought up by my mother..if she had had her way, i would have been terminated!!!, but she was persuaded not to do it by the lady who brought me up. She was a wonderful human being and was an amazing surrogate parent in my growing up. Looking back i dont think i ever properly formed a parent child bond with her that i should have done....emotionally i am quite stoical...i seem to have much love for people whilst they are there, but once they have gone, that feeling disappears...which saddens me somewhat... To me, the passing of my mother and this other lady are just closed chapters in my life..if i revisit them, its for a reason, and not because i want to go back there...i wish that would change someday.

sorry if this has been a bit of a mish mash of thoughts etc today...my head is a bit all over the place at the moment..it may be i explain my family further, but its a good start i think..i really dont want to confuse you all too soon

I will be posting more stuff soon :) maybe more background stuff and more on bits of my life over the past few months i havent talked about yet

5 on the fifth

After following my friend Torchys blog for ages and seeing him do this every month, i have decided to give it a go, so thanks Torchy




The theme for this month is recycle which really stumped me to be honest apart form the obvious so ive gone with that, let me know what you think if you get a chance, Thanks


It may be recyclable but it was sitting in a bin bag

These are 2 belts I own, the blue one is made from recycled sweet wrappers, and the black and purple one is actually made from a seat belt from a car

The side of my recycling bin at work

I sell books, so this makes sense to me, its a book on Green issues made out of recyling paper

Recycled Products dont need to cost the Earth

Hope you like these :)

50 Things About Me

This was supposed to be a depressing post on how stupid I have been and a fool , but rather than have a rant , i am going to do one of those 50 Things about me so you get to know me better, and , you never know, you may enjoy it..ask me anything about them if you want


1.I am an only child

2.My favourite colour is purple

3.I know 2 people that are born on the same day and month as me

4.I am right handed

5.I bat left handed in cricket

6.I have one tattoo

7.I have had my appendix removed

8.I was going to become a vicar when i was at school

9.My favourite number is 13

10.I own approximately 200 cameras

11.I dont eat Onions

12.Except Spring onions

13.I like cats

14.I have been on Countdown

15.My first job was working in a butchers when i was at school

16.I would describe myself as gay..always have been..yeh i know!!

17.Currently I have 3 cats

18.I have walked the length of Hadrians Wall

19.The most played songs on my ipod are The XX - Crystalised, Green Day - East Jesus Nowhere, Placebo - Nancy Boy,

20.The only bone I have broken is my finger

21.But fractured my wrist 3 times

22.I have cut my own hair for 20 years

23.My left foot is slightly bigger than my right

24.I passed my driving test at the 2nd attempt

25.I have no living relatives

26.I have been knocked down by a car

27.I wear contact lenses

28.I have met my hero

29.I am uncut

30.I dont like my fingers to be sticky

31.The only fruit I have had are apples and bananas

32.I love Disney

33.I have swum with dolphins

34.My temperature in my bedroom as a child once read zero degrees C

35.I use humour in inappropriate situations..alot

36.I was caught smoking when i was 9 years old

37.I still dont know what I want as a career

38.I have turned down 2 career changing jobs because they were based in London

39.I was the youngest person to be interviewed for Mastermind at the time

40.I have never owned a skateboard, and only bought Roller Blades about 5 years ago

41.I am learning to speak Polish

42.I am probably addicted to coffee and chocolate

43.I trim

44.My life changing moment was the first time I kissed a guy

45.I have done all my own cooking since i was 15 years old

46.I have never spent more than 12 hours in a row with my mother

47.I always throw away any chip that has a black or bad bit on

48.I was 'groomed' as a child by a paedophile, but never fell for it

49.I dont hold grudges...life's too short



50.I can see myself settling down and being in a relationship with one guy for the rest of my life

Hope you liked them and found out more about me..i'm happy to expand on any if you want to know more, or if theres any burning questions you want to ask, you can do that!

i told someone

For those who have stuck with me through my ramblings know i am gay and my situation re:marriage, and this actually applies to everyone i meet or chat to online...i make sure any guy who i chat to etc knows very early on what my situation is...its two fold really..firstly i dont want to give anyone false hope as to what may or may not happen with us and secondly i want to be honest with peole i meet online..i have spent so much of my real life lying that i want to make sure i start my new life on the right foot!! Also, some guys just find the whole thing difficult to understand so once i tell them i never hear from them again, which is a shame, so telling guys early means i dont get to form an attachment to them should they decide its just too weird for them.

Anyway, back to the title of this post...I have told someone from my real life that i'm gay! Now before you all start jumping up and down shouting Wahey!! it wasnt as big a step as it sounds..he was a very safe bet indeed. He is someone i went to school with , who now lives in another country, i only chat now with him through facebook, and hes gay...so it made sense to tell him, but it made me happy doing it.

He was surprised but happy about it and we had about a 3 hours chat afterwards about all manner of things regarding me and being gay. I found out so much about him i didnt know..it was strange because our paths criss crossed throughout our whole childhood from about when i was 4 until 16, but we were never good friends..the strange thing was i always felt an affinity towards him but didnt know why...i guess it was embyonic gaydar at work (especially since i had the same feeling towards another guy at school, who my friend told me was gay as well..how did he know this???..well they had 3 flings with each other in their teens ...lol)

At school i actually had a bit of a crush on this friend i told...i thought he was cute..i told him this yesterday and it made him so happy cos he felt he was nothing at school in terms of people liking him that way.

so thats the first friend I've told about me...lets hope the rest are all that positive!!!! we can hope