where has the time gone??

I cant believe how fast the days seem to be going at the moment.....

My time at home is a constant merry go round of silence, crying, and normality.... there are times when we are getting on great..and getting on like friends. Then there are times when we've just got nothing to say to each other...and then there are the times when she just cries...i can understand it totally after what i have done, but selfishly i dont want to see it when it happens.

Apart from my past..i am looking to the future and continue to make new acquaintances which i hope will turn into friends...I managed to spend 13 hours one day last week with this guy on skype...lol I havent got time for real life what with msn, skype and facebook!!! The main thing with these guys is i can be myself..no more lying or hiding away...i find i am feeling better as a person for being able to be honest with people

I did promise some pics of guys i like the look of..sorry this has taken some time, but its actually quite a difficult task...i didnt want to put celebrities or sportsmen i liked the look of on here... thats more a fantasy...but i have included some though :) i have also found photos of guys who are either hot from there pic alone, and some who i think are hot because i know somehing about them which makes them hot...its not necessarily just the looks that makes a guy hot.... I'm not going to stick naked pics either on here..some guys you may only get a face

If any of these pics belong to someone else or they are of you and you want them removed, just let me know!! Also all these guys are over 18 years old incase you are wondering...

This guy has looks and personality...i love his eyes and lips

Its not a great pic, but this guy below is just cute..and he's got great hair as well :)




Not the greatest picture of Nicholas Hoult, but nice nonetheless



...and finally for today, Joe Hart the Goalkeeper..dont know what it is about him, but i think he's sexy :)

a few changes

those of you who regularly look at my blog, will notice a couple of changes today...as well as putting a link to my email... please fell free to contact me if you want to chat, ask a question or just get in touch....you may aslo notice as a live.co.uk address, it doubles as my msn as well.

also i have put a pic up...it is actually of me as well!! it was the best clean one i could find where my identity is protected enough...im still not in a position to show you everything...not that you would probably want to see everything either ..lol

at home, things just seem complicated...my wife is intimating that she would be happy living with a gay guy...jokingly she said last night that if we won the lottery and bought a big house i could move my boyfriend in if i had one!!!! As with her previous 'jokey' statements, i dont know what to believe.

You may remember i mentioned some posts ago about comments she made to me being gay a few months ago...last night she said she actually thought i was gay before we started going out...when she knew me as a work colleague (but not in the same building), but despite this liked me, and then loved me....i dont know what to think about that...no one else ever suspected and ive never done anything to 'give the game away' so to speak.

i have also come to the realisation that i dont just want to be gay in name only..its not good enough me knowing and accepting it...and leaving it there...i want other people who are relevant to know..and also act on those desires as well...

Ive had to reluctantly do alot of thinking over the past few days and alot of things are coming out from that..my mind is very much a whirlpool of things going on, so excuse me if things get a bit random and all over the place

I think ive developed a crush as well...well i think its one...its someone who it would be totally impractical to go out with and it wouldnt work i dont think..even if i was totally available now... ive known him a couple of months now, and hes everything you could want. He's very good looking, funny, smart, and the sweetest nicest person ive ever met...we get on well..and i love him to bits, but for the sake of losing the relationship i have with him, its going to stay in my head....i know that he doesnt see my in 'that' way at all, so no use people saying i should give it a go...i just feel happy for having him as a friend :)

thats enough randomness for now i think...till next time !!!